| Minister: | Rev Ron Winkler |
| Ceremonies: | Contemporary ceremony 1 |
| Special Readings: |
How Do I Love
Thee?
“Marriage has certain qualities…” |
Opening Remarks
We meet in this place to celebrate a mystery as ageless as humankind; a mystery of enduring power and inspiration. The Song of Solomon speaks of this mystery in these words:
Place me as a seal over your heart… for love is as strong as death,
Many waters cannot quench love, nor will rivers overflow it;
Love is beyond price; to what can it be compared?
This passage speaks of a strong and committed love, the kind of love that results in a strong and committed relationship. The quality of marriage must never be judged by the absence of difficult times, but rather by love’s response to them. In the words of Solomon, the waters are a metaphor for adversity, while the seal speaks of a love that protects; of a love that conquers all. Solomon is saying to his betrothed that sincere love transcends mere romantic inclination: It is not (as some may suppose) a fleeting notion borne of wishful thinking, but a substantive hope of a rich and fulfilling life together.
Your marriage this day begins a truer revelation of the depth and wonder of hope freely given, freely received and fully shared.
This ceremony celebrates both the mystery and the power of your love for one another; a love enduring and complete.
The mystery of love is that this day your hearts become one in the sight of God.
The power of love in that—though one—neither is diminished but rather fulfilled in ways you would never know apart from each other.
You come to this altar of commitment individually as man and woman. But when you leave, you leave as husband and wife, united by vows and blessed by God.
From the book of 1st Corinthians, chapter thirteen, These words, written by the Apostle Paul, further describe the nature and characteristics of true love:
If I speak with the tongues of men or of angels but have not love, then my speech is empty.
Love is patient, Love is kind, Love considers the feelings of others,
Love does not put itself first; Love bears all things,
believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
There are only three things of enduring worth (in this world),
Faith, Hope and Love. And the greatest of these is Love.
Exchange of Vows
Do you, <<FN BRIDE>>, take this man as your husband and your closest friend, and do you agree to be fully committed to the sanctity of this marriage for as long as you both shall live?
Do you, <<FN GROOM>>, take this woman as your wife and your closest friend, and do you agree to be fully committed to the sanctity of this marriage for as long as you both shall live?
In this spirit of shared love and full agreement for the well-being of each other and the well-being of this marriage, you will now confirm these intentions by the exchange of vows and the giving and receiving of rings.
I, <<FN BRIDE>>, take you <<FN GROOM>>, as my husband. I promise to love and honor you as my husband and forsaking all others, to be faithful in body and spirit; for richer or poorer; in sickness and in health for as long as we both shall live.
From this day and until forever, I pledge to you my everlasting love.
I, <<FN GROOM>>, take you <<FN BRIDE>>, as my wife. I promise to cherish and honor you as my wife and forsaking all others, to be faithful in body and spirit, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, for as long as we both shall live.
From this day and until forever, I pledge to you my everlasting love.
Exchange of Rings
The ring is the visible symbol of your marriage. Reflecting the essence of this ceremony the ring symbolizes the nature a loving marriage and your lifelong commitment to each other. Through time, the ring has been used to seal agreements and establish covenants.
By this exchange of rings, you enter a joyful and sacred covenant with one another. A covenant that endures until God by death separates you.
The shape of the ring symbolizes the unbroken circle of your love
And the unbroken union of your hearts.
These precious elements will serve as reminders in the months and years to come,
Of how precious in your sight, your loved one is this day: And ever will remain.
Please repeat after me, these words:
Bride:
With this ring, I embrace you as my husband. Accept this ring as a symbol of my affection and complete love for you: As this ring encircles your finger, so shall my love forever encircle your heart.
Groom:
With this ring, I embrace you fully as my wife. Accept this ring as a symbol of my affection and complete love for you: By accepting this ring you give to me my most cherished possessions—your beauty, your heart, my future.
Pronouncement
By the exchange of vows and the giving and receiving of rings, you have proclaimed and affirmed your intentions to enter into a sacred union. In recognition of the above, and, as a minister of the Gospel and in accordance with the laws and statutes of the State of Hawaii, I now pronounce you: Husband and Wife.
Presentation
It is with pleasure that I present to you,
<<FN GROOM>> and <<FN BRIDE>> <<LN GROOM>>, Husband and Wife.
You may kiss your Bride
Opening Remarks
Marriage is more than a contract. Marriage is commitment to take that joy deep, deeper than happiness, deep into the discovery of who you most truly are. It is a commitment to a spiritual journey, to a life of becoming—in which joy can comprehend despair, running through rivers of pain into joy again.
And thus marriage is even deeper than commitment. It is a covenant—a covenant that says:
I love you.
I trust you.
I will be here for you when you are hurting,
And when I am hurting, I will not leave.
It is a covenant intended not to provide haven from pain or from anger and sorrow. Life offers no such haven. Instead, marriage is intended to provide a sanctuary safe enough to risk loving, to risk living and sharing from the center of oneself. This is worth everything. It is therefore fitting that you, <<FN GROOM>>, and <<FN BRIDE>>, should today become husband and wife. To give yourselves to each other in marriage, freely, exclusively, eternally.
Find room for the things of the spirit and make your search for the good and the beautiful a common search. In the words of a counselor, make yours a relationship in which “the independence is equal, the dependence is mutual, and the obligation is reciprocal.” Remember that standing together never means dissolving your individual selves into each other, but indeed means the strengthening of the individuality of each. A good marriage evolves when two distinct souls face life’s joy and its sorrow in harmony, not in unison.
Statement of Intent
I, <<FN GROOM>>, being of sound mind and true spirit, vow to follow the guidance of my heart, the dictates of our commitment, and the direction of committed love, as your husband, strong in my belief in you and confident in the lasting power of our marriage.
I, <<FN BRIDE>>, being of sound mind and true spirit, vow to follow the guidance of my heart, the dictates of our commitment, and the direction of committed love, as your wife, strong in my belief in you and confident in the lasting power of our marriage.
Exchange of Vows
I, <<FN GROOM>>, accept you, <<FN BRIDE>>, as my wedded partner to love, respect, and cherish. I promise to listen to you and encourage open and honest communication.
I place you in my heart today before all other women, and pledge to you, from this hour forward, to make our marriage a sound and joyous one.
I, <<FN BRIDE>>, accept you, <<FN GROOM>>, as my wedded partner to love, respect, and cherish. I promise to listen to you and encourage open and honest communication.
I place you in my heart today before all other men, and pledge to you, from this hour forward, to make our marriage a sound and joyous one.
Presentation of Rings
The rings you give and receive this day are the symbols of the endless love into which you enter as husband and wife. Such a love has no beginning and no ending, no single giver or receiver. You are each the beginning and the ending of this union, each the giver and receiver. As you look upon these rings in the months and years to come, may they be a perpetual reminder of how precious your loved one is on this day, and always will remain.
Exchange of Rings
<<FN GROOM>>: I give this ring in remembrance of this hour, a symbol of love that is complete, beautiful and endless. This ring is a symbol for me and all that see it, of my commitment to you.
<<FN BRIDE>>: I give you this ring to wear upon your hand as a symbol of our unity. May this ring forever be to you the token of my growing love.
Pronouncement
By the exchange of vows and the giving and receiving of rings, you have proclaimed and affirmed your intentions to enter into a sacred union. In recognition of the above, and, as a minister of the Gospel and in accordance with the laws and statutes of the State of Hawaii, I now pronounce you: Husband and Wife.
Presentation
It is with pleasure that I present to you,
<<FN GROOM>> and <<FN BRIDE>> <<LN GROOM>>, Husband and Wife.
You may kiss your Bride
Opening Remarks
Dearly beloved: We have come together in the presence of God to witness and bless the joining together of <<Groom’s F & L name>> and <<Bride’s F & L name>> in Holy Matrimony. God established the bond and covenant of marriage in creation, and our Lord Jesus Christ adorned this manner of life by His presence and first miracle at a wedding in Cana of Galilee. It signifies to us the mystery of the union between Christ and His Church. Therefore, marriage is not to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly, but reverently, deliberately, and in accordance with the Will of God.
Into this holy union <<Groom’s F name>> and <<Bride’s F name>> now come to be joined. This marriage in which you have come to be united is a holy ordinance and in making marriage a type of Christ and His Church, God has made known to you the tenderness with which He looks upon this moment. He has spoken the substance of the marriage laws: “Let the wife reverence her husband…Husbands love your wives as Christ also loved the Church and gave Himself for it.”
Statement of Intent
To the Groom:
<<Groom>>, will you take this woman to be your wedded wife, to live together after God’s ordinance in the holy estate of matrimony? Will you love her, comfort her, honor her, and keep her in sickness and in health; and forsaking all others, be faithful to her for as long as you both shall live?
To the Bride:
<<Bride>>, will you take this man to be your wedded husband, to live together after God’s ordinance in the holy estate of matrimony? Will you love him, comfort him, honor him, and keep him in sickness and in health; and forsaking all others, be faithful to him for as long as you both shall live?
Exchange of Vows
Having publicly proclaimed by mutual ascent, your commitment to the well being of one another and this marriage, you will now seal these intentions by the exchange of vows.
Bride:
I, <<Bride>>, take you, <<Groom>>, to be my wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish till God by death separates us.
Groom:
I, <<Groom>>, take you, <<Bride>>, to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish till God by death separates us.
Exchange of Rings
Scripture tells that when God made a covenant with Noah, He set His bow in the cloud as a token of that covenant, and said, “I will look upon it that I may remember the everlasting covenant.” From this we learn that it is well for us, when we enter into a solemn agreement to set aside some reminder. You have selected these rings to be a token of your marriage covenant.
The ring, an endless circle until broken by some outside force, is a symbol of the unbroken union, which is to continue until broken by death.
Placing the ring on your bride’s/groom’s finger, please repeat after me these words:
<<Groom>>
With this ring I do thee wed, and with all my worldly possessions I thee endow, in the name of the Father, the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.
<<Bride>>
With this ring I do thee wed, and with all my worldly possessions I thee endow, in the name of the Father, the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.
Pronouncement
For as much as <<Groom>> and <<Bride>> have consented together in holy matrimony, and have witnessed the same before God and pledged their faith each to the other, and have declared the same by giving and receiving rings: I pronounce that they are husband and wife, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost.
Closing Prayer
O God, you have so consecrated the covenant of marriage that in it is represented, the spiritual unity between Christ and His Church: Send therefore your blessing upon these your servants, that they may so love, honor, and cherish each other in faithfulness and patience, in wisdom and true godliness, that their home may be a place of blessing and peace; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever. Amen.
God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Spirit, bless, preserve, and keep you; the Lord mercifully with his favor look upon you, and fill you with all spiritual benediction and grace; that you may faithfully live together in this life, and in the age to come have life everlasting. Amen.
Presentation
It is with pleasure that I present to you,
<<Bride and Groom L name>>, Husband and Wife.
You may kiss your Bride
Opening Remarks
Aloha, a gentle Polynesian expression of love, brings you to Maui that your hearts may be hui pu ‘ia (united) in Holy Matrimony. Today spoken vows and the exchange of rings seal your love.
It is fitting that you pledge faithfulness and enduring love in this place. To the Hawaiian people an olelo ho‘ohiki or vow, is a solemn thing, a pledge that can be trusted.
The ring symbolizes the aina, or land; the ua, rain; the la, sun; and the moana, or ocean. The ring binds together that which gives and sustains life. The rainbows that grace this island remind us of God’s covenant, the ring is a reminder of your binding covenant with each other.
Like the rains that bring life our island home, your love is a thing of mystery and power. Love’s mystery revealed by your hearts becoming one in God's sight. And its power revealed in that being one heart neither is diminished but rather completed in ways you would never have known apart from one another.
Statement of Intent
To the Bride:
Do you take this man as your husband and life-long companion; and do you promise to love him for as long as you both shall live?
To the Groom:
Do you take this woman as your wife and life-long companion; and do you promise to love her for as long as you both shall live?
Exchange of Vows
Bride:
I, <<FN BRIDE>>, take you, <<FN GROOM>>, to be my husband. I promise to be faithful to you in body and in spirit, to stand with you in times of hardship and rejoice with you in life’s triumphs. I pledge to you my friendship and love for as long as we both shall live.
Groom:
I, <<FN GROOM>>, take you, <<FN BRIDE>>, to be my wife. I promise to be faithful to you in body and in spirit, to stand with you in times of hardship and rejoice with you in life’s triumphs. I pledge to you my friendship and love for as long as we both shall live.
Lei Exchange (if requested)
In the Hawaiian tradition, leis were created as a means of bringing healing herbs from the mountains to villages on the sea. To the Hawaiian people, the head and shoulders are considered sacred, for this reason, the lei is worn first by the giver then placed over the head and shoulders the one it is given to. This exchange conveys affection and honor to the one who receives the lei.
<<FN BRIDE>> I offer this lei as a token of the respect and affection I hold for you and as a symbol of my love.
<<FN GROOM>> I offer this lei as a token of the respect and affection I hold for you and as a symbol of my love.
<<FN GROOM>> will you now place your lei on <<FN BRIDE>>.
Exchange of Rings
The rings celebrate the completion of the union of your hearts, the visible expression of Aloha. The precious metals symbolize the enduring essence of marriage and serve as a reminder of how precious in your eyes your loved one was on this day and in the months and years to come.
Placing the ring on your bride's/groom's finger, please repeat after me these words:
<<FN BRIDE>>:
With this ring, I embrace you as my husband. Accept this ring as the symbol of my affection and enduring love.
<<FN GROOM>>:
With this ring, I embrace you as my wife. Accept this ring as a symbol of my affection and enduring love.
Blessing
Ke nonoi ha‘aha‘a nei maua i na hua‘olelo ‘olu‘olu
We humbly ask for kind words
a piha me ke aloha,
Filled with love,
a no na pu‘uwai makaukau mau e noi i ka huikala,
And for hearts always ready to ask forgiveness,
a e huikala aku.
As well as to forgive.
E ka Haku, ke waiho nei maua i ko maua male ‘ana i loko
God, we leave this marriage
o kou lima. ‘Amene
In your hands. Amen
Pronouncement
By the authority granted by the State of Hawaii,
And as a minister of the Gospel;
I now pronounce you, husband and wife.
You may kiss your bride.
These ceremonies can be customized with special readings (I have an extensive collection or can use those provided by the bride and groom), and additions (unity candle, lei exchange, etc.) or with vows provided by the bride and groom. Without music, the total length of the ceremony is about 20-25 minutes. With music (depending on selections) about 5 minutes longer.
Ron Winckler, Minister
808 250-4134
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How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of every day’s
Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old grief’s, and with my childhood’s faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, —I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life—and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.
Elizabeth Barrette Browning
What greater thing is there for two human souls than to feel that they
Are joined together for life, to strengthen each other in all labor, to rest on
Each other in all sorrow, to minister to each other in all pain, to be one with
Each other in silent unspeakable memories at the moment of the last parting?
George Elliot
Marriage is more than a contract. Marriage is commitment to take that joy deep, deeper than happiness, deep into the discovery of who you most truly are. It is a commitment to a spiritual journey, to a life of becoming—in which joy can comprehend despair, running through rivers of pain into joy again.
And thus marriage is even deeper than commitment. It is a covenant—a covenant that says: I love you. I trust you. I will be here for you when you are hurting, and when I am hurting, I will not leave.
It is a covenant intended not to provide haven from pain or from anger and sorrows. Life offers no such haven. Instead, marriage is intended to provide a sanctuary safe enough to risk loving, to risk living and sharing from the center of oneself. This is worth everything.
Margaret A. Keip
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The Fountains mingle with the River
And the Rivers with the Ocean,
The winds of Heaven mix forever
With a sweet emotion;
Nothing in the world is single;
All things by a law divine
In one spirit meet and mingle.
Why not I with thine?
See the mountains kiss high Heaven
And the waves clasp one another;
No sister-flower would be forgiven
If it disdained its brother,
And the sunlight clasps the earth
And the moonbeams kiss the sea:
What is all this sweet work worth?
If thou kiss not me?
Percy Bysshe Shelley
Find room for the things of the spirit and make your search for the good and the beautiful a common search. In the words of a counselor, make yours a relationship in which “the independence is equal, the dependence is mutual, and the obligation is reciprocal.” Remember that standing together never means dissolving your individual selves into each other, but indeed means the strengthening of the individuality of each. A good marriage evolves when two distinct souls face life’s joy and its sorrow in harmony, not in unison.
Rainer Maria Rilke
A portion of your soul has been
Entwined with mine.
A gentle kind of togetherness,
While separate we stand.
As two trees deeply rooted in
Separate plots of ground
While their topmost branches
Come together,
Forming a miracle of lace
Against the heavens.
Janet Miles
The hand which you each offer to the other
Is an extension of yourselves;
Just as is the warmth and love which you express to each other.
Cherish the touch, for you are touching another life.
Be sensitive to its pulse, and try to understand and respect its flow and rhythm,
Just as you do you own.
Paul L’ Herrou
Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make a helper suitable for him…”
So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh at that place.
And the Lord God fashioned into a woman, the rib that He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man.
And the man said,
“This is now bone of my bones,
And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called Woman,
Because she was taken out of Man.”
For this cause a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.”